Finding Wellness - Part 2

Help & Healing

After experiencing my first panic attack and other disturbing symptoms that were ongoing, my life as a young mom was up-ended. Because the symptoms weren’t going away on their own, I knew I needed to find someone with expertise to help me through it. My first point of contact in the medical community was a family friend who was a registered nurse and had a business counseling people with various health conditions. She suggested that I try some mild, high-quality supplements to calm my nerves and get me back to a feeling of stability. I hadn’t left the house for weeks, but I managed to collect the courage to get in the car and make it to the local health food store to make my purchases.

As scary as the symptoms were, it was also scary trying something new, not knowing what to expect. But the supplements were a huge help. My friend continued to be a support to me in many ways, but after a month of that routine, I found a doctor who could do some testing and give more specific ongoing guidance. The doctor was not in my town, but I was willing to go anywhere to get help at that point. My husband, Jeremy had to drive me anywhere that was further than a few minutes away because, even with the help of the supplements, panic attacks seemed at the ready any time I stepped out of the house or did/ate anything even remotely stimulating. So, we made the 3 hour drive several times over the course of the next couple of months to get the help I needed.

The doctor specialized in women’s health and, after some lab tests, determined that my hormones had never regulated themselves after my last pregnancy and were at rock bottom. Besides my hormone depletion, I was informed that my diet, very little down time, a recent car accident, and my inability to cope with ongoing interpersonal stress all contributed to filling my “stress bucket” to overflowing. I was totally depleted in many ways. My whole system was topsy turvy, but the specialist added a targeted set of supplements to help bring my body back into balance, and I could feel things slowly starting to improve.

One thing that wasn’t at rock bottom was my cortisol. It was sky high, along with its buddy adrenaline. I learned that cortisol’s main role in the body was to be a part of the sleep/wake cycle by giving us energy throughout the day and gradually winding us down at night as the levels naturally dropped. It is produced by the adrenal glands and the only time it should spike is in emergency situations to give instant energy to get out of the emergency. 

The constant stress in my body stimulated my adrenal glands to produce too much cortisol and never allowed it to go back down to normal levels. This was the cause of my panic and feelings of overstimulation and the reason why sleep eluded me. I became quite dependent on my new regimen to wind down for sleep and to stabilize me enough in the daytime to manage parenting and the ongoing needs of my family.

But as terrifying and intense as my current state of being was, it also had to have an end point because all that cortisol and adrenaline couldn’t last forever. Just as if you were to hold the gas pedal down on your car and rev it up to top speed, eventually the engine will blow if you never let your foot up. Essentially, that is what happened to me. After revving my engine too hard for too long, one day it gave out. It had been about 4 months of constant battling for peace within my body, and then peace finally emerged. The feeling was more than welcome and I was finally able to rest. But the rest morphed into deep fatigue and I started sleeping through the night...and the day. I could barely pull myself out of bed.

The absence of constant tension in my chest was a huge relief. Yet that meant my cortisol was no longer available. The resulting fatigue was like the worst flu I had ever experienced. Getting off the couch to get water felt like an impossible task. I barely had the strength to make it to the sink. In addition, I had brain fog, lightheadedness, muscle aches, nausea, and weight gain.

I still didn’t want to ask for help, because I knew how draining it would be trying to explain how to care for my kids’ specific needs. Once again, Jeremy and I found a system that worked for us without outside assistance. We took turns with the girls. When Jeremy was with them, I was always resting. However, we eventually accepted much-needed help from both grandmothers. They realized the need we had, and we were grateful. Each little rest I received gave me a small amount of energy. It was enough to do the next necessary thing.

Wanting to be a good mom, I tried to keep my girls involved in fun activities, but it was quite limited. Even talking with people exhausted me. I cancelled plans more often than not. And it was usually too hard to explain everything I was dealing with because I still didn’t fully understand it myself.

A highly respected book by James Wilson was recommended to me: Adrenal Fatigue: The 21st Century Stress Syndrome. The book specifically describes what I was going through, and gives a name to what I had been experiencing. “Adrenal fatigue” isn’t an official diagnosis, though, so the book also gives a medical description to explain the condition. It is a dysfunction of the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis. Understanding the complex interplay within the HPA axis was important for those helping me to be able to find the proper path to healing.

For months I rested, knowing that rest was a key ingredient to healing. Though I would often lay in bed with a limited ability to focus my vision—one of the adrenal fatigue symptoms—the book became a concrete source I frequently used as a reference between doctor visits. 

What kept me going was an unexpected ability to see myself in the future overcoming this difficult illness. My faith in God was heightened as I felt His guidance with choices in my healing process. My journey had become so unconventional and out of my comfort zone, that I had no comfort zone anymore. I just had to move ahead with my convictions about each new step. I trusted the experts to guide me, but I also learned to listen to and advocate for my own needs.

Eventually I found a local doctor who had read the same book I was reading, and understood the concept of adrenal fatigue. She also encouraged me to follow the diet that was recommended: a healthy balance of protein and whole foods. It didn’t include sugar or caffeine, as both added to the stress from which my body was trying to recover. As supportive as my new doctor was, she didn’t have a lot of experience with my condition. I was making headway in my healing, but not very quickly.

In addition to my doctor’s support, I found and contacted a specialty clinic for adrenal fatigue. I began two years of consulting with a specialist there, who fully understood what I was experiencing. He gave me hope, and his confident and personalized approach to healing was what I needed to get through the darkest time of my life. For that, I will be eternally grateful to him. He helped me understand that I didn’t have to quit my life; that a stop-and-go approach was what I needed to balance my rest and activity. He not only understood the things my other providers had helped me with, but had also been trained and done further research on how to manage the very complex and confusing symptoms I was experiencing. (Such as the “wired but tired” sensation that is common in this condition.)

Over time, following this specialist's guidance, I was able to balance out my health. Eventually, I resumed normal daily activities. That included regular exercise, which had to be quite limited while I was healing. At first, support from others needed to be from a distance, since I had to insulate myself from stress as I learned to create a new normal. But eventually, it became less remote and many of the relationships I had put on hold became richer than they had ever been.

Although the physical and emotional tolls in my health journey were difficult, the process has been worth the spiritual strength and character building. I am still receiving those benefits. I’ve learned to take charge of my health and find a balance that is just right for me. I’ve come full circle: I’m back to living in the country where I feel the most content. I’m again eating “intuitively,” listening to the ebb and flow of my nutrition and energy needs. I also try to add humor into my days, since laughter really can be the best medicine. I give myself grace when I am imperfect and pat myself on the back when I make the choices that are good for me, knowing it’s a dance we all do. Wellness isn’t linear. It looks different for each of us with our unique backgrounds, physical abilities, and personal beliefs.

I hope that my story is relatable to you or someone you know. Maybe it will be a nudge to be intentional in finding your own path to wellness. I don’t believe you need to have the same challenges as I did, in order for me to be a support for you. After my personal challenges and successes, I now have a deeper understanding of those who are hurting in different ways. That is even more motivating for me to get my message across about the importance of prioritizing our health and overall well-being. The additional training I have received supports this message and allows me to help guide your health journey in an organized and practical way.



Everyone’s story is important. I would love to hear yours.